It wasn’t as quiet as I hoped last night. A group of three or four showed up at dark and camped on the other side of the creek, making noise long after I was trying to sleep. Anyway, they were all asleep when I left at dawn, so I never met them.
It’s been hard getting back on the trail. It’s been really hot, even at night. My toe seems better, but stills aches. My trail-legs feel like they’re gone. It’s back to sore feet and tired legs all day. And now with thunderstorms!
But the worst is that some how by skipping ahead I seem to have lost my mojo. If I can’t finish a thru-hike this year, why the hell am I out here? I’ve proved I could do it (theoretically, without injury that is). I’ve accomplished most of what I set out to do. Why torture myself any more? Why not go back to the nice foggy coast and my nice clean apartment and my sweet cat?
But it IS pretty here. Castle Crags was cool to walk by, and I like the mountains here and the views of Mt Shasta.
So, I’ve spent hours determined to quit and plotting my escape, and hours thinking of all the reasons I want to stay out on the trail.
The advice I’ve heard from past hikers is, “Don’t quit on a bad day”, and I haven’t. It will be four days until I could quit, if that’s what I decide to do. I think I just need to go slow again for a week or three until I get stronger again. Hopefully, these next few days will bring some clarity. I intend to keep walking until I’m absolutely sure what I want to do.